Yes, the hat is there to illustrate scale.

Patrick Chukwuemeka Okogwu (A.K.A. Tinie Tempah)

Standing at an impressive thirteen feet (on his hind legs), the ironically named Tinie Tempah was originally created by the author Charles Dickens in 1985.

Initially envisaged as a love interest for Mr Darcy, following the death of Elizabeth Bennet at the hands of Robocop in his unpenned series of  “Pride and Prejudice vs…” graphic novels, ‘Tinie’ has gone on to appear in every single work of fiction that has followed (although he is rarely referred to in any explicit sense).

Since 2010 however, when he finally opted to remove over three hours of lobster-baiting from his act, Patrick has gained some notoriety as a professional songstrel. This classy gent, for one, still laments that decision - spelling as it did the end of one of Great Britain’s oldest and most beloved traditional pastimes.

Aside from his burgeoning music career, Tinie is perhaps best known for being the man who came up with devils and angels appearing on cartoon characters’ shoulders, when they have to make a difficult moral decision.

As you should be aware by now, mere success in one’s chosen field does not qualify you for entry into the annals of Classy Gents so, of course, there are a myriad of reasons why his name appears in this list.  Fortunately for this author, the man himself presented those reasons in his 2010 opus on class - Pass Out:

Let’s have some toast, a celebration, get a glass out.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, as any Classy Gent knows, so it’s no surprise to see Tinie extolling its benefits in the song’s very first verse. He seemingly prefers to avoid a full-cooked breakfast most days, implying that he only splashes out on such things when he visits his club on the weekend. Breakfast can still be a celebration though - A couple of slices of a nice wholegrain bread, lightly toasted, and accompanied by a tall glass of OJ is perfectly adequate and is, as a bonus, a great source of both fibre and vitamin C.

I live a very, very, very wild lifestyle,
Heidi and Audrina eat your heart out.

Ever since the 1990’s East coast/West coast feud, few rappers have been brave enough to return to referencing classic literary works, but Tinie is, as ever, the exception rather than the rule.

While he was growing up, his mother regularly read to him from Johanna Spyri’s Swiss children’s classics: The Heidi books.

It was clearly an important feature of his early life, as this quote from a 2011 GQ interview shows:

“I’ve always loved the Heidi books… all Swiss literature really. I tried to introduce them to 50, when I was in the studio with G-Unit, but sadly he just flat out refuses to read anything that isn’t Roald Dahl.”

I’ve got so many clothes I keep some in my Aunt’s house.

A Classy Gent is a well-dressed gent, and one who appreciates the importance of family. To be well dressed at all occasions, you need as many options as possible, so it’s no surprise to see Tinie rotating his wardrobe.

Yeah, they say hello, they say hola, and they say bonjour,
I’m pissed, I never got to fly on a Concord.

A Classy Gent should ideally be able to hold court in several different languages and should maintain a keen interest in travel in order to broaden his horizons.

I been to Southampton but I’ve never been to Scunthorpe.

Rightly so.

Soon I’ll be the king like Prince Charles child.

Indeed he will child. Thanks to a change in the law, Tinie Tempah will soon be this nation’s sovereign. If you have any doubts about his credentials as a Classy Gent, you’d best voice them now because rumour has it he already has designs on reopening the Tower.